How I Do It: ‘I’m not interested in monogamy – a week in my sex life’

‘I did my laundry and masturbated three times. Feels like a lockdown throwback’ (Picture: Myles Goode/Getty)

Welcome to How I Do It, the weekly series in which a new person gives us a seven-day sneak peek into their sex life.

For this Friday’s instalment, we catch up with Sophia*, who’s 25, bisexual, and not into exclusivity.

The last time we heard from Sophia, she was navigating her personal relationship with ethical non-monogamy, and explained that ‘there are basically zero things about [monogamy] that seem appealing to me’.

Now, Sophia’s single, and describes her relationship with sex as something she’s ‘optimistic will improve as I get older.’ She also hopes one day her sex life will be ‘more glamorous’ and feature ‘fewer panic attacks’.

In the meantime, she’s very happy with her masturbation skills.

From awkward flirting encounters to a text from her ex, here’s how her week has been…


Nothing really interesting sex-wise happened today.

I was very tired, even though it’s only Monday.

I’m tired a lot of the time, which means I orgasm less.


This was my first day off in a while. I did my laundry and masturbated three times. Feels like a lockdown throwback.

I have that anxious feeling like I want to cry after I orgasm the first time, but that goes away by the third one.

I have an excellent work ethic.


I felt overwhelmed by a beautiful woman on the train today, despite the fact that we didn’t speak.

I hope she didn’t think I was staring at her… even though I was.


I found out someone I was crushing on at work has a partner. Disappointed.

They were giving me lots of compliments on my outfits, so I thought it could have been flirting.

Is there a subtle way to bring up non-monogamy with a colleague?


Went to a club night tonight.

I got chatting to a girl on the dance floor who was with two friends. I was trying to indicate I would like to make out with her. She had a great face.

I got stressed, and so I went to have a cigarette with my group of friends.

They bigged me up, and I felt good about going back to flirting. En route, I bumped into a friend I hadn’t gone to the club with, and she was talking to Flirt Girl’s friend.

My friend introduced me to her, and I said: ‘Nice to meet you, I was just flirting with your friend!’

To which they replied: ‘That’s my girlfriend…’

I did not end up making out with her girlfriend.


I can’t tell if I’m flirting ever. Am I just constantly misreading possible flirting situations?

I think I flirt with my boss sometimes at one of my jobs.

I think it’s good fun and harmless flirting. I hope I don’t make him uncomfortable though – I hope it’s just banter.


Got a text from my ex today. We broke up badly four months ago.

I called him, and we spoke for like an hour. He has a nice voice.

We’re not getting back together, ever, but was good for closure.

I had a wank thinking of him after we hung up – for old time’s sake.

*Name has been changed

How I Do It

In’s How I Do It you get a sneak peek into a week of a person’s sex and love life – from vanilla love-making to fetishes, threesomes and polyamorous relationships, they reveal it all.

Fancy taking part yourself? Email [email protected] for more information.

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